Thursday, May 18, 2006
i
cun remember a time i was truly happy
i
cun remember a time when i really loved sku
i
cun remember a period wen i gt bck the results i wanted
i
cun remember a time wen the fun atmosphere persists and the sadness dissolves
i
cun remember a time wen i loved my frenz n my classmates
i
cun remember a time wen my frenz were dere for me wen i needed dem
den i took a peek into my photo albums
n i found the lost memories, not really lost, but lay buried deep within the innermost self
i admit im a loser
be it wif maintaining relationships or being temperamental
the pettiness juz flares
i believe i was really my true self in sec 2/2
now it seems im juz maintaining a facade
tt would eventually fade
juz enduring the passing of time is a pain
in 2/2 time flies, yet i bothered to hold on and enjoyed my life to the fullest, be it wif frenz or wif classmates
yet now, i wish time would fly and hols will cum
not as if fourone isnt fun, itz juz tt itz nt the same, the stickiness, the fun, the unity
itz so FORCED
and the atmosphere iz filled wif "competitiveness"
it almost makes school life so hard and gruelling and difficult to endure
even my laughter aint so sincere anymore
i guess it never was ever since sec 3
i think i kinda lost the humour bone in me
the lameness, the siaoness in me is so contaminated wif impurities, SO IMPURE
IM NOT MYSELF ANYMORE
IVE LOST EVEN ONE'S MOST BASIC PERSONALITY
i dun even noe myself anymore
i miss the laughter, the talks bout 5566, the fun , the joy, the petty fights (owaez instigated by ME), the gg outs to cinemas and orchard, the chalet, the lessons, the netball carnival IN SEC 2/2
CAN THE FEELING EVER CUM BCK AGAIN
it occured to me it will nv return
n itz my fault
MINE
i tend to sour relationships
HA LOSER
and regret it
but too late for amendments
it's realli a pain pretending i dun care anymore
I DO CARE
IVE BEEN CARING SINCE LAST YEAR
but pride stopped me
wellz since wen did pride nt rule my mind
sumthing tells me im gr8 @ masking feelings and i think i am
im tired, im sick, im depressed, im sad
and gut feelings tell me tis emotions arent gg to end here
wen can those sweet memories cum bck to me.........
never it seems
and shall be for a long time to cum
-soonli
Y5:34 AM
